I was up early this morning with a teething baby, so I decided to finish another draft of “Changestone.” The most common feedback I got from my last draft was that I needed more description of my narrator, and that the ending was flat. I’m not surprised that I need more description, but I was surprised that some people took quite a while to realize that the narrator was a dragon. So, while I never say what color she is, hopefully I’ve made it clearer now what creature she is and her relationship to the humans.
As for the ending, I had to cut a darling to make it work. What I had before lacked tension and punch, although the final line had a fun dash of humor to it. So I changed the situation to have more immediate danger, and Alvaro’s reaction. It feels more solid now, but it wasn’t right for Alvaro to ask to go flying again.
I’ll get some opinions on the changes, and then it’ll be almost ready to go on submission.
- Started: September 11, 2014
- Finished: September 12, 2014
- 1,028 words
- 91% the size of v 1
- Amount of Spanish: 3 phrases, 1 word